Rikudō Onīsama
by Uzumaki-sama011
Summary: Who ever said that immortals have to be broody assholes with no regard for life. Just because I'm old as fuck doesn't mean I can't live a life. Well, I would be living the life, but taking care of my new baby sister took a precedence over getting laid... why are you looking at me hungrily like that Vali-chan? Hiatus, but not discontinued. Will be continued by New Year
1. Old Comrades and New Faces - Part I

_How does a pirate get a Hooker?_

 _YO-HOE!_

 **Movie Cliches # 2 : ALCOHOL :** Only men are alcoholics. Any hopeless alcoholic can quit drinking when faced with an important challenge. The instant the alcoholic stops drinking, all his faculties return and he faces no annoying withdrawals.

 **AN:** I just bought Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Revolution... and oh my gosh do I love playing as Shisui and Kurama Link Naruto, so badass and flashy, Shisui much more so especially with his and Itachi's special Ultimate Jutsu. Teleporter speed and random evasion capable combos which don't take up a substitution slot for the win d^^b. I almost always used Minato in UNS3 because of his ability to appear behind his opponents in instant awakening instead of dashing towards them (useful for pseudo-substitution) - though I am more then proficient in almost all the characters with 2000 wins and 500 losses, except Part 1s 'cuz I didn't see a reason to use them... I also never used Orochimaru or Kabuto now that I think about it...

Also, I visited the DxD wikia to refresh my memory on some things, it has improved remarkably and has a new picture of Ophis which doesn't make her look like a dispassionate loli slut. I only have one thing to say... who the fuck names things in this series, Diabolism Thousand Dragon, really? WTF does that even mean.

* * *

 **Story Fandom:** Naruto & Naruto Shippūden / Highschool Devil x Dragon  
 **Story Title:** Rikudō Onīsama ( _Naruto to the Peace V2_ )  
 **Story Genre:** Humor, Action, Drama, Adventure... Romance?  
 **Story Rating:** Rated M for Mature...  
 **Story Ship/Pairing:** Uzumaki Naruto x Fem!Vali (Lucifer).  
 **Story Author:** Uzumaki-sama011

This is a rewrite of NotSaint666's Naruto to the Peace. I thought the idea was great so I'm going to give it a bit more professional approach to writing if I do say so myself. That and I also really really want to write a carefree but serious capable Naruto who's clearly an OP fucker.

"Watashi wa Sennin-desu dattebayo!" - Speech  
" **Hakuryū** **Rasengan (White Dragon Spiraling Sphere)** " - Technique Name  
 _'Ware annei chitsujo o nasu mono.'_ \- Thoughts, Special Words

 **Disclaimer (rhymes with Reclaimer XP):** I don't own Naruto nor DxD, which has the single most ridiculous harem size I've ever seen in any anime.  
STOP IT AUTHOR-SENPAI, ISSEI ISN'T WORTH IT! **GAAAHHH**!

 **~~~ 序幕 ~~~** **~~~ 序幕 ~~~** **~~~ 序幕 ~~~** **~~~ 序幕 ~~~**

 ** _Rikudō Onīsama_**

 **Prologue:** Old Comrades and New Faces - Part I

 **~~~ 序幕 ~~~**

 _ **Sitri Pillar Territory, Underworld**_

The sun was rising from the east, or at least the Underworld's equivalent of East, as the ideological reincarnation of the Sage of Six Paths and the living transmigration of one Asura Ōtsutsuki, the Six Paths Sage's second son and heir of Ninshū Shinobi Sect woke up on that fine early morning in the middle of Sitri Pillar Territory with a mighty headache pulsing like a Gale Style Rasenshuriken within his skull, making the man groan in contempt as he came to consciousness. He likened his head pounding to as if his brain wanted to burst out of it.

Naruto Uzumaki, once an orphan and the unwanted pariah of his village opened his eyes for a brief moment before abruptly closing them with a hiss.

The dead-last in his graduating class, now a man of unparalleled power and strength eclipsing even gods then brought one of his hands up to his face, rubbing his fingers against his forehead in a poor attempt to alleviate the pain. Feeling his patience quickly evaporate like water underneath the pissed off glare of Amaterasu-chan he decided it would be a-okay for him to cheat - just a bit - against the anguished, perpetual nemesis of all livingkind, be it mortal or divine.

Hangovers.

He did this by applying an easy medical technique he'd learned from his ancient grandmother when he finally turned 17. (Yes, timeline is AU. Silly Kishimoto, wars don't last for 2 days - not if it took us **3 full fucking years to close!** ) It really was a life safer that one, he would have kissed Tsunade-baachan had he known how useful it was going to be in the future for him to know it.

He could still vaguely remember his reaction to her birthday gift, an owlish stare and a hanging jaw.

He was a bit naive back then. He simply never saw reason for him to get drunk.

The former Hokage wannabe then rolled his head over the soft squishy pillows beneath him, mumbling out a stray curse against the universe as he felt an errand ray of the sun hit him in the face and go straight to bore into his barely peeking eyelids. He raised a hand to block the onslaught, scowling minutely. Without giving his surroundings a second glance the man tried to sit up only to stop as he felt a small weight on top of his left arm.

 _?!_

 _Tug - Tug_

A small, feminine whine of disapproval graced his ears as he attempted to further tug his arm up.

Looking down he felt a small smile grace his features. The memories of the weekend before returned to him quite vividly.

An attractive young girl with a rack that sported a pair of heavenly sized watermelons was sleeping soundly next to him, exhausted beyond compare and hopefully content - he always liked to make his partners enjoy themselves, it was a matter of pride to him - after two days and nights of nonstop screwing and drinking.

Just thinking about it had his junior waking up again.

So he mentally ordered his aroused junior to STAY DOWN.

Reluctantly - he could have sworn he heard it whine - his cock softened. Naruto sincerely doubted that the girl's body could take another romp with him unless he planned on getting her pregnant, which was a big no no in his book. He didn't need little demi-gods and godlings with power to blow up the world running around the world all willy nilly without supervision again. Even with all the negatives he still liked this dimensional cluster thank you very much.

He didn't want to see it go out in a blaze of orange destruction like the last one.

Ophis-chan would never let him hear the end of it.

Besides, he barely even knew the girl.

He'd actually loved the other mothers of his children. For a time, they had even been a big happy family.

Shaking his head fondly at the memories of laughing, kissing, cuddling and screwing with some of the female goddesses - virgin ones too - in the previous world the former shinobi turned his attention back to the young girl lying in bed with him. As he had mentioned already, she was a pretty little thing. A plump little nose befitting a baby, round face and large doe like eyes, long but natural eyelashes that gave her an uncommon measure of grace and a smile that was both kind and sultry and a willingness to try out different things and you had yourself quite a catch. Her hair was long, straight and slick black in color, her large and unbelievably perky breasts were definitely up there in the top ten bracket he'd ever seen and she had a pair of utterly delicious looking long mile legs in between which he'd spent the last two days making her feel like she was touching heaven if her moans were anything to go by.

He grinned goofily as he lightly combed her hair, removing the unseen sticky remains of their love juices from it with his chakra.

Her name was Ayako... Ayako something - if memory served him right - a young and rather spunky Fallen Angel who could do some _amazing_ things with her hips. She was a medical student at Sitri Foundation Medical University of New Legolos, her twelfth year, which meant she was probably half-way done with her college degree if he wasn't mistaken. She looked to be about his physical age. Or better said, he looked to be her age. He stopped caring about little things like age some time ago, being immortal and all that jazz. They had met in a bar and got to talking with one another and one thing had just led to another.

He lightly touched her forehead and applied the same technique he'd used on himself, bathing the room in soothing green light. Unlike some people he knew Naruto wasn't that much of an ass to let this girl suffer the massive hangover she would no doubt experience upon waking up all alone after the wonderful time she'd given him. For every hour they'd spent imitating rabbits the last couple of days they must have drunk enough booze to knock out a fully grown elephant, his... uh, produce had some weird effects when absorbed by the female body giving it something akin to a stim boost perl. The countless bottles that littered the floor could just barely give an inclining of how much they'd drank and the overpowering smell of booze and sex that permeated the air in the room was something of a deal maker.

He scratched his head and took a deep sniff before smiling sheepishly to himself.

He'd better seal those away.

Slowly and silently, because he really didn't want to disturb the cute snoring of the Fallen Angel, the once-have-been blond expertly slid out of her grasp and bed without making his presence felt. He was a ninja after all, stealth and grace was practically his money bringer... well used to be, but now he had other sources of income. He took a moment to feel annoyance on that part before shaking his head. His Icha Icha were much better than his sensei's senseless smut... or he thought at least, he never really finished reading the original Make Out Series what with the war going full throttle. Frowning, Naruto then glanced around the room in search of his clothes, which he found in one corner mostly, and quickly put them on when he found them. As he was dressing he looked about the room with minor curiosity. Everything was pretty neat and clean if you didn't count in their clothes and bottles, with lots of cute little fluffy toys and dolls lying about amidst various books giving it a girly girly look - ignoring the pair of handcuffs tied to the bed's headboard. The room itself had had a soft sweet scent to it, he could remember it as he went around the room to quickly clean some of it up. He could see pictures of Ayako and her family on a dresser as he picked up the fallen items before putting them around randomly - as he couldn't know where they belonged properly after they had sex across every inch of the room - and fixing those that were broken with his chakra technique. Once he was finished dressing himself Naruto looked at Ayako who was still sleeping contently in her bed. With a small wave of his palm over his hip the Commander General of the Allied Shinobi Forces unsealed a plain white and blue baseball cap from the invisible seal he had put on himself. He'd sewed in the insignia of the Allied Shinobi Forces onto the baseball cap as not only a reminder of his roots but also his dreams. Finished, he approached the Fallen's exhausted form and gave her one last chaste kiss on the lips - which she returned even in sleep with a barely audible moan, making him smile sadly.

She was a good girl, a nice girl, definitely the sweet sort of gall you would want to really get to know and put down the roots with.

 _'I really am the worst'_ Naruto thought with a grimace as he opened her window and slid out through it, closing it behind without a sound.

He made to jump down but paused as he thought of something better.

He slid open the window just enough for the air in the room to circulate.

The place really did reek of sex akin to a den of debauchery.

He leapt down the four stories of the building to the ground and got going, tucking his hands in his pants and started to hum his favorite tune as the wind blew through his silver Juubi Jinchuriki hair.

Her face quickly faded from his memory, forcefully.

 **~~~ 序幕 ~~~**

 _ **Timeskip - unknown amount of time; Bael Pillar** **Territory, Underworld**_

Dressed in a pair of coal black jeans and a pair of orange BINGO sneakers, a pure white short sleeved shirt and a black leather biker's jacket with stylish orange and red flames licking its ends worn over the shirt akin to his and his old man's trench coats, one very bored and very unfocused Naruto Uzumaki could be seen walking leisurely through the territory of the Bael Pillar, one of the remaining 34 out of 72 Pillars. The Bael household was one of the wealthiest noble families in all the Devil society; they certainly didn't have a problem flaunting it which he found mildly distasteful. They were famous for their Kekkai Genkai, the Power of Destruction. The first time he'd heard this overprunic name he'd snorted and dismissed the household entirely from his mind.

He should shove a Godoudama stick up their asses and teach them what true Destruction really is.

Alas, it was not to be.

The former whisker bearing shinobi was able to easily conceal his massive and otherworldly presence through a small trick, some simple manipulation of senjutsu. It was one of his most crucial skills which allowed him to move around the world, be it Earth or the Underworld, inconspicuously without attracting undue attention from every big player.

Power attracts power, and so does trouble.

Barely, there was a small blessing in disguise after several lifetimes of bad luck in all of this; that his exotic appearances in his Shin form weren't exotic enough to be considered strange in the Underworld, just very attractive. He didn't want to use genjutsu to hide himself out of sight. Not only was he still abysmal at simple illusions, he also had quite an ego that wouldn't allow him to hide like that even in plain sight. Don't get him wrong, he had nothing against being stealthy and keeping low when needed but that didn't mean he was going to go out of his way to secrete himself.

Because he was, y'know, a badass motherfucker who can blow shit up and didn't like to be messed with by petty squabblers - he did the messing with other people, playing mental and psychological games on them for his amusement - it was better than starting wars in his free time like a certain Uchiha once upon a time in a dimension far, far away did.

That didn't necessarily mean he wanted to involve himself with the three Biblical Factions or waltz into their Cold War.

His plan on the matter was simple.

Observe the Three Biblical Factions from a distance until something unexpected happened - which it would, he had a knack for sensing these kind of things - , then kick their asses to kingdom come and force them to lay down their arms or face annihilation. This strong arming method proved remarkably fruitful several times before in his life, he only had to make sure that he didn't come of as a warmongering madman in the end. While he still believed that the only way to true peace is through understanding, compassion and trust, by taking an interest in the lives of those around you, he realized that there had to be a catalyst for this to happen first... it was something he learned from Sasuke and from experiencing the Akatsuki War.

Might as well become that catalyst, it was the least he could do.

Shaking his head from such morose thoughts Naruto glanced up into the sky, icy blue eyes observing the clouds and the sun. He could tell from simply looking at it that it was around noon, what with the sun being at its tallest. He continued to cloud gaze in silence as a couple of those balls of fluff came and went over the area in a drifting manner. Sniffing the particles of air he could tell that it was going to rain soon, something of a rare occasion in the Underworld due to its lack of large water masses.

He turned his gaze back to the city as a pair of giggling women passed him by in the street, saying "Hi" to him and even offering him a small wave which he returned in kind before looking away with a smile. A very big carnival had just been in city and a lot of its inhabitants were still in high spirits, unbothered by their bad luck in life due to some bad economic troubles the Underworld was facing thanks to its reliance on Earth. But he wasn't going to spend his time thinking about that as he had come to this city, named Albatrosia, to have a good time, which he had.

Naruto had gambled in the city's famous casinos and ran one of them dry by wining himself all the money in its possession in a high stakes game against the owner, watched a play - yes, it shocked him as well -, went to the movies featuring the events of the Great War, got laid and ate some of the Underworld's most delicious devil cuisine. He also visited a few shops here and there, the small backstreet and hidden behind the glamour in shadows kind of ones that many people never paid much attention to unless they were a part of the underworld - the seedy criminal one which Jiraiya had taught him to look out for - and bought himself some trinkets and artifacts for study when he eventually grew bored, which was liable to happen soon.

To put it simply, the former blond was wasting his time until he decided to return to the human world. He missed the feeling of Mother Nature's embrace as he meditated even if it wasn't the kindest of ones, the sensation of bathing in the sea and the interest of teaching an interested Yokai or two how to use senjutsu correctly without pissing her off.

However, as he continued to move through Bael Pillar territory, the Uzumaki remnant couldn't help but feel like... like...

Like he had no idea what it was or why he was having this particular, gut freezing feeling or what was going on, but he was having it and he wasn't liking it. It normally meant that something world shattering and mind blowing was going to happen to him, something that will destroy most of his preconceptions about reality as he knew it. Trust him on this matter, he had experience with it.

Naruto's face was pulled into a frown as he put his hands into his pants' pockets as he grew weary of his surroundings, eyes flicking over the rooftops and dark alleys, the places where he'd expect non-experienced tails to be hidden, before glancing over his shoulder and seeing that there was nothing there.

Humming, the former blond turned a left down a corner at the end of the street.

He sent out a pulse of senjutsu and found nobody of note near him in a 200 feet radius.

Naruto continued to walk slowly through Albatrosia with this knowledge, taking in the sights of the 30 million inhabitant city.

The Underworld city looked nothing like his old homes, his former village or his palace.

Where the Hidden Leaf Village had always been a mix between top notch wood construction and nature blending with a basic technological infrastructure, and where his family's palace was a large but inviting structure filled with various things and kind people, odd machines and bizarre inventions he'd taken an interest into this city looked a lot like old age Istanbul, only larger and much more economically stable than the modern day one. His musing about differences in architecture from culture to culture came to an abrupt halt when he was walking past a semi-traditional japanese style building and glanced at the closest window for some casual window shopping, one foot hovering in place mid air in front of the other and his jaw hanging low... and going lower every second as his eyes went wide. The former blond was standing in front of the _Beautiful Green Beast's Dōjō of Hard Work,_ the name for the Place of the Way written in big bold Hiragana and Kanji and hanging above his head like an oversized poster.

There was also a big picture of a muscular, bowl haired man with humongous caterpillarish eyebrows smiling wide at the camera with his pearly teeth flashing a bling while giving them a Gai-Sensei™ thumbs up.

Naruto's mind stopped functioning.

That couldn't be right.

He must have been seeing things.

He rubbed his eyes furiously.

He looked at the dōjō's window store again.

It was still there.

His eyes dulled.

He performed the genjutsu release technique.

"Kai (Release)."

Nope. Still there.

His face took on a pinched expression of discomfort as if someone had shoved a 15 feet pole up his anus.

That was impossible. There was no way, absolutely no way in this world or the next one that that guy could still be alive after nearly 15000 years have passed, not to mention what the heck would he even be doing here in the Underworld if that was the case?

So Naruto rationalized his pending dilemma the best he could.

When was the last time he'd eaten ramen?

This must be some kind of ramen withdrawal induced hallucination, the Deities of Holy Ramen were punishing him for forgetting them surely.

...

Yeah, that's what it is.

Definitely, believe it!

 **Believe it!**

 _Ha-Ha.. hahaha.. haaaaa_

Naruto cracked a nervous laugh before shutting his mouth and eyes tightly, his stance going rigid. Almost robotically the former blond turned around on his spot... and his Ōtsutsuki genetic inheritance induced palish white skin took on an even paler tint as he froze, looking for all intents and purposes like a mortal who'd seen a ghost. His eyes opened wide and his control over senjutsu nearly faltered. And why? Because he had come to stand face to face with someone whom he'd figured long ago bit the dust in their home dimension. Though the man's appearance was obviously different from what he could remember, his face appearing older and more maturely developed, shoulders wider and standing taller than the blond who stood at a modest, but to his people quite tall, 5'9, it was still the same man. And from what he could remember thanks to his unfortunate curse of photographic memory which he'd only learned later on how to turn off, the man still wore the same ridiculous outfit he did since becoming a genin long, long time ago.

And the first thing to come out of Naruto's mouth?

"You have got to be fucking kidding me..."

Pure disbelief oozed from his words, an almost purple aura leaving his person.

"Naruto, my eternal rival?! Is that really you?!" a confused voice asked wearily.

"Lee?"

He was instantly on the receiving end of a blindingly bright beaming smile faster than he could think ramen, "I never would have thought I'd see you here Naruto, oh this is a wonderful occasion, truly marvelous. It calls for a celebration and drinks!"

"Umm... URCK! GAAAH..." Konoha's very own former Beautiful Green Beast pulled the ascended human into a manly hug that was tight enough to break normal devils' bones and suffocate lesser beings. "I can't believe this my friend, after all this time you finally came all the way here to this unfortunate world to see my efforts in igniting the Flames of Youth of these unyouthful devils." his hug tightened considerably as he pulled the man up into the air, getting a few weird looks from the onlookers who didn't know what to think.

"Agh... Leeeeeee.."

"Yes?"

"You're - ... choking me..."

Naruto was beginning to turn blue in the face as Lee's ridiculous strength was applied to his lungs and torso in a crushing grip.

He was stronger than him, but only thanks to his chakra.

On the other hand, unlike him the bowl haired male was a pure physical monster who had managed to surpass even his mentor long ago.

"Oh..." Lee released his old friend in realization and bowed deeply, "My apologies Commander General, I didn't mean to inconvenience you."

Taking in large, selfish gulps of air as fast as he could Naruto wheezed out, "No... none of that rank stuff... we're friends still... right?"

"That is very much true my youthful rival!" standing up to his full height in a flash Lee shouted out for all the Underworld to hear as he put an arm over the Uzumaki's shoulder. The taijutsu master then started to drag him into his martial club as he used his other hand to make some emphasizations, all the while wearing one of the silliest and goofiest smiles to ever grace his face, "Come inside with me Naruto, I have someone I want you to meet. We have many things to discuss you and I, old times to remember and ignite old passions."

The silver haired god groaned.

Yep, this was definitely Lee he was being dragged along with.

Just great, now he'l have to listen about youth all day long despite being older than Shinobi recorded history times 10.

Nobody saw the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

 **~~~ 序幕 ~~~**

On the outside, the Beautiful Green Beast's Dōjō of Hard Work looked like your everyday normal dōjō.

On the inside however...

It still looked like a regular, everyday dōjō, at least to him... which may or may not have meant much when you consider the fact that, counting Lee's dōjō, Naruto had only been inside of a dōjō twice in his entire existance. He looked around, his hands placed lazily in his pockets. He could see sponges in shades of green alongside white and beige tatami mats placed across the floor in appropriate places. Throwing his eyes towards the other end he could see that there were boxing bags, workout bars and all sorts of other workout equipment located on the far side of the martial club. The whole layout of things made the Beautiful Green Beast's Dōjō of Hard Work look more more like a cross between a gym and a dōjō center instead of a pure martial art club, which made sense he supposed.

It was Lee after all.

Finished with checking out Lee's Place of the Way, Naruto then directed his gaze towards the only thing that stood out in the beige walled hall.

"Who's the shortie?"

"Heeey!" a young, high-pitched voice belonging to a child complained at his words, "I'm not short, I'm 6!" the child exclaimed indignantly as he pointed a finger at his chest, violet eyes glaring indignantly at the strange silver haired teenager who just walked into his sensei's club like he owned the place.

"Which means you're short." Naruto countered with a grin on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest and purposely looked down at the boy.

"I - You, I mean... Hmphh!"

The child lost in his words gave up on his comeback against this logic. Instead he crossed his arms over his chest like Naruto did at moment ago and looked away whilst pouting.

Naruto did try his very best to keep the grin from splitting his face in half like a certain Joker.

As you can guess, it wasn't working very well.

Lee stepped forward until he standing in between Naruto and the kid and pointed at the kid with an open palm as he took an open bow, "Naruto-kun, welcome to my Martial Arts hall, the Kaimon." Naruto raised an eyebrow at the naming, which translated to the Gate of Opening, the first of 8 gates of chakra, "I want you to meet Sao-kun. He's my apprentice and also my very best student!" Lee exclaimed with pride in his voice as he stood up, grinning like a certain Maito Guy whenever he spoke about him with pride.

"That's because I'm your only student left Lee-sensei. You scared everyone else away with your sadistic training." 'Sao-kun' deadpanned towards his teacher, causing Lee's pride and body to deflate like a balloon and Naruto to snicker. He was relieved that the boy hadn't started to turn into a younger version of Rock Lee just yet. Covering his mouth with a hand the chakra entity coughed to get his snickering under control before patting Lee on the back in consolidation.

"There there Lee, don't feel down about it. It's better to have one student than a bunch of them anyway. Believe me, I know from experience." turning back towards the black haired boy the silver haired shinobi took several rapid steps forward and crouched in front of the child, getting into his immediate personal space.

A grin spread across his face, "Listen up gaki, my name's Naruto Uzumaki so remember it, 'cause I'm the bestest ninja you'll ever meet. Nice to meet you."

The child's eyes opened wide and he looked at Naruto with disbelief, "You.. You're a ninja?!" Sao asked in shock.

The silver haired male blinked, "Yes, yes I am. So is Lee over there, we're old comrades." he mentioned as he glanced over his shoulder to look at the aforementioned taijutsu fighter in no small manner of confusion, "He didn't tell you that?"

"I have my reasons," Lee answered stiffly for a moment before the tension left his body and he smiled at the boy. The only reason Naruto noticed his reaction was because he knew Lee well. No one else would have noticed it, "But what he claims is indeed true Sao-kun. Naruto-kun and me _were_ ninja together." he put a special emphasis on the word _were_ as his gaze locked with Naruto's eyes for a barest moment, folding his arms into a resting stance.

"Really?"

A nod.

The child grinned toothily and started to bounce on the spot.

"That's so cool! Ri-chan will never ever believe me when I tell her my teacher's a real ninja, that's soo dojo! She'll totally freak out! Hey, does that mean I can become a Ninja too?" he questioned and started to do a poor imitation of a Ram hand sign.

Naruto ruffled the kid's messy hair with a smile, the kid reminding him a lot of a young Konohamaru already, "You're a strange gaki Gaki."

"Hey!" the kid protested as he tried to swat the arm away to no avail, "No I'm not. I'm going to become the strongest devil in the world, you'll see!"

"Uh-uh." Naruto nodded in faux acceptance.

"What, do you think I'm not being serious?!"

The grin was back, "Yes."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too..."

"Am no-"

 _Cough Cough_

The two bickering idiots blinked - they were in each other's faces with their foreheads clashing - and looked to the side in unison where an amused Lee was standing with a smile on his face that looked terribly out of place on someone wearing green spandex and bowl haircuts.

"Really Naruto-kun?" he raised a humongous caterpillarish eyebrow at his former CO, "Arguing with a child? Aren't you a little too old for that, Commander General?" Lee teased - TEASED?

 _'You have no idea'_ Naruto thought humorously within the confines of his mind as he had already formed a theory on why Lee was alive after all this time. It wasn't something he could be sure in though, he'd have to track down his little Ophis-chan and ask her a few questions first.

What he said though in response was this, "What? I'm allowed to feel like a kid at heart ain't I?" he pulled his face into a pout.

Lee shook his head in humour, "I'll go prepare some tea for us, we have a lot of things to discuss... I would also like to know why you look like that." he squinted his eyes at Naruto, "You obviously aren't in a henge and I can't see any dye. I'm rather curious."

"Sure." the former blond shrugged carelessly at his friend's demand as Lee walked past them and through a door that was on the other side of the hall.

In the meantime Naruto turned his whiteish blue eyes back to the kid, only to see him staring at Naruto with a suspicious look in his eyes.

He raised a silver eyebrow.

"What?"

"Are you really a cool ninja?"

He nearly facefaulted at the question.

The Second Holy Master of Mt Myoboku shot back into the air with an aura od indignation rolling off of him, shaking a fist at the cheeky brat, "What kind of question is that brat?! Of course I'm cool. I'm the coolest guy ever y'know, believe it!"

The kid couldn't hold it anymore.

He laughed.

 **~~~ XXX END CHAPTER XXX ~~~**

So, how was that? How many of you can guess - it's rather obvious - Who Sao is? This chapter is only hinting at the serious side of Naruto, there won't be many scenes where he'll be all thoughtful and take up a third of the chapter. If any of you have ideas to share about how to improve the DxD world, like let's say what Kuro0Kishi did in their fic End Game Version R, please do share. It's such a wonderful universe to work with.

Just imagine how cool it would it be if it wasn't all ecchi.

 **Author recommends on YouTube corner:** [AMV] Kill la kill-A light that never come by **Aki Kuzunoha**

 **Author recommends on Fan Fiction corner:** The Strange Relationship Between Oppai Dragon and Ramen Chef by **Death to Original Naming**


	2. Old Comrades and New Faces - Part II

_What's a pirates favourite song?_

 _Gang-plank style!_

* * *

 **Movie Cliches # 3 : ALIENS :** If there is more than one or two of an alien race, they are always roughly the same size as humans  
 **Movie Cliches # 4 : ALIENS :** Aliens usually speak english and have the same colloquialisms as every other being in the galaxy.

 **Story Fandom:** Naruto & Naruto Shippūden / Highschool Devil x Dragon  
 **Story Title:** Rikudō Onīsama  
 **Story Genre:** Humor, Action, Drama, Adventure... Romance?  
 **Story Rating:** Rated M for Mature...  
 **Story Ship/Pairing:** Uzumaki Naruto x Fem!Vali Lucifer (Capital Brocon :P).  
 **Story Author:** Uzumaki-sama011

This is a rewrite of NotSaint666's Naruto to the Peace. I thought the idea was great so I'm going to give it a bit of a more professional approach to writing if I do say so myself - not that I'm an expert or anything but I do believe when I DO publish a chapter or some, it has a certain level of quality that many here lack.

"Watashi wa Sennin-desu dattebayo!" - Speech  
" **Hakuryū** **Rasengan (White Dragon Spiraling Sphere)** " - Technique Name  
 _'Ware annei chitsujo o nasu mono.'_ \- Thoughts, Special Words

 **Disclaimer (rhymes with Reclaimer XP):** I don't own Naruto nor DxD, which has the single most ridiculous harem size I've ever seen in any anime.  
STOP IT AUTHOR-SENPAI, ISSEI ISN'T WORTH IT! **GAAAHHH**!

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 **Author's Note: It should be noted that I generally dislike seeing or answering reviews in chapters, but fuck it when everyone else seems to be doing so I will to, blatantly and quite shamelessly forcing my word count up :D**

 **mystery joker -** That's a _secret  
_ **rick12 -** yes, it's a single pairing... but it's not because of reasons... it's not a harem and that's the most important thing here right?  
 **HolyKnight5** \- ...I shouldn't even answer that. Who do I look like, Kishimoto? Most of events which lead up to Naruto's and Lee's circumstances are perfectly acceptable within both mangas.  
 **vincentiusnatalus** \- that's only half true (^^)b  
 **Oniele** \- :P  
 **yukicrewger2** \- whoops, was meant to be chan, not chichi... which is daddy (even after all that spell checking I still miss a thing or two, _facepalm_ )  
 **horseinterest** \- awww, thanks... And yes, the fact that people watch dxd for its bouncy 'plot' is a really good reason not to take anything serious in an otherwise gold idea for a universe. Sure, devils thrive on sin... but really? Well, I hope to do it, but I don't think I'll manage it with this story. It's a mix between serious - crack. I've decided that I'd only work on one N/DxD story at a time. My writing style still takes way too long so I often lose interest halfway into the chapter. It's a long road of writing, editing, over-saturating, editing, cutting and more editing. Maybe when I improve I'll be able to dish out chapters weekly. Then I'll write such a story... this is more for grins and giggles, you get me?  
 **Mikaeru346** \- Her debut will come next chapter, part III... and yes, that is him. Who else in DxD would train under Lee - LEE?  
 **RandomPudding -** Why thank you for such kind words, it always warms an author's heart to see their hard work appreciated. First I though of only using Lee as a side/humor insert characters, but then I got all these visions on how to use him throughout the story... and how can he change the story's course from cannon. **  
grimreaper40045** \- ...know what? I don't care. The shit in manga is a conflict, not a war. There's nothing beautiful about such a drawn out thing. Yes, the action is badass in certain cases... but I stand by my thought that everything after Pain should have been put into another series, and that Pain should have been the high-end of the second series. It was literally the perfect moment too. Naruto has clearly become the single strongest shinobi within the village without relying on Kyuubi, the emotions were high, he's earned the respect of all Konoha citizens and we had sufficient foreshadowing for his and Sasuke's future conflict. **  
castrr** \- _**I**_ hate harems. The end. Notice the I.

On a completely unrelated note, my mom saw me watching _Girls und Panzer_ on TV and asked why are highschool girls riding on pink tanks?

I then switch to porn because it's much easier to explain.

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 ** _Rikudō Onīsama_**

 **Prologue:** Old Comrades and New Faces - Part II

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 _ **Bael Pillar** **Territory, Underworld**_

Naruto heard the doors of the Hard Work Dōjō close behind Sao who was off to his home thanks to his enhanced hearing as he walked into the backroom. Stopping suddenly his hair fell over his forehead in multiple messy bangs that covered his vision in silver... a lot of silver. Withholding a sigh, because that would have been very lame to see and hear, he sent an annoyed look towards the strands that were blocking his view. He had to bring out one of his hands out of his pockets in order to comb the rogue strands up and away from his vision. Maybe he should get a haircut soon? He was beginning to look a little too much like a silver haired version of his father, side bangs and all. Without the ever-present whisker marks from his youth and due to growing up during the duration of the Akatsuki War, his face had become much leaner and narrower like his father's - he hadn't aged a single day since, he didn't even need to shave because he was physically still 19 and had his father's genes in him, and his father _was_ kinda flaky.

Though he dearly missed his mother's face, it was like one of the few things he shared with her and he still wished to have her natural crimson red hair.

It was an awesome color, not as good as orange of course, but a perfect, beautiful fit on his mother...

Putting those thoughts aside Naruto looked around the room; there was a small wooden tea table set in the middle of the room along with a number of differently colored mats and cushions for people to sit on properly arranged around the table in a near-circular fashion. Naruto rose an eyebrow in interest when he saw that - it actually looked a lot like the office rooms of various chiefs and bosses of Elemental Nations. Did that mean Lee got many visitors here, and if so, what did they talk about? He could never imagine Lee holding a business conversation with someone even remotely lucid. The room itself was a mediocre 4x4 room with panorama and scenes from the daily life of Konohagakure no Sato painted across the walls in those fancy yet soft artistic shades that were traditional even in today's modern day Japan. Naruto also spotted Lee standing further back through another door on the other side of the room which most likely led to a small kitchenette if the smell and sound of cooking was any clue.

He stood there, taking his other hand out of its pocket and crossing them over his chest as he rocked back and forth on his feet. He could be as old as he could be but he would still retain his impatience - it was what made Naruto Naruto and not some random inserted shmuck number eight, 'ttebayo!

Lee's voice could be heard coming from the other room, "Is there any specific sort of tea you prefer Naruto-kun?"

"...Oh, I don't really drink tea much, anything is going to be fine."

"Ok..." Lee leaned backwards through the door frame to glance at him, "Sit down Naruto, there's plenty of room to kick back... and stuff..." he turned away, "Make yourself comfortable as if this was your home..." he paused, "Now what was that weird expression people in the 'human world' use? Meh kaza eh tut kaza?"

Naruto laughed for a quick moment hearing that, "Funny, real funny. It's 'Me casa e su casa' Lee, it's not that hard to pronounce. Heck even I can do it."

TV absolutely loved that line.

"...sure."

"...You still have that old talking problem of yours don't you?"

He couldn't see it but Naruto just knew that Lee was blushing.

Lee cleared his throat and ignored the Commander General's remark, "I'll be over in a minute."

"Hm... oh, sure, take your time." Naruto responded before doing as Lee told him to moments ago, dropping down on the floor with less than satisfactory dignity. The Uzumaki remnant shifted himself until he was sitting in a relaxed version of the traditional Japanese seiza, with his legs folded underneath acting as a spring-form cushion for his weight across the mat. However, because the last Uzumaki would never let himself be caught in such a stiff and uptight position as a _seiza_ , or at least that was how he saw it, his shoulders were uneven as he leaned his upper body weight onto his left hand which was propped tense against the bare floor while he took another moment of his endless existance to look at the scenes on the walls with curiosity. His memories of Konoha and the Elemental Nations in general were somewhat foggy even with his eidetic memory, which he made sure was suppressed due to... personal reasons.

Then another detail about the room caught his eye.

It was far too ...too clean and comfort radiating to be taken care of by Lee alone... it had that feminine touch he was hearing so much about on Earth, and had experienced for more than once in his life. Which, if he could still remember what common sense dictated, must mean that Lee was either living with someone in the apartment upstairs or that he at the very least had an assistant working at his Dōjō. He stopped thinking about it when Lee came out of the kitchen with a big iron tea kettle held in his hands, along with an oversized plate of brimming with biscuits.

...he was also balancing a pair of fragile looking porcelain cups on his shoulders.

Because that is a perfectly fine way to carry around fine china.

Naruto sweatdrop at the sight.

The bowl haired man beamed at him, ignoring his reaction to his oddity.

"Tea's ready!"

He had to seriously wonder what kind of a woman would put up with Lee's odd quirks.

Lee continued to speak, oblivious to Naruto's less than copacetic thoughts, "I admit I'm not all that good at making it myself but I believe I have learned a thing or two since living here, it should be to your satisfaction Naruto-kun!" Stepping towards the middle of the room Lee smiled at his guest widely - of course his smile was coupled with a pearly white ping of his teeth and a blinging sound that echoed in the background. He then placed both the plate and the fragile china down on the tea table with swiftness befitting a jounin. The taijutsu oriented fighter quickly poured tea for Naruto first and then for himself, manners showing, before taking a seat across Naruto and placing the iron kettle down. Lee then took a much stiffer form of seiza that Gai-sensei or Neji had no doubt pounded into his head for situations when he needed to be respectful to others.

He hated respectful stuff.

"Why so stiff?" Naruto questioned with a light chuckle rumbling from his throat as he took the cup into his hands. The green obsessed male blinked at him as if he were a strange plant before shifting around on the spot until he was more relaxed.

"Ahh... I apologize Naruto-kun. It's a reflex, the people around here are really..." Lee stopped and searched for the right word with a hand rubbing his chin.

"Snobby? Stale? Snuffy?" Naruto offered a few words that first sprung to mind after sighing contently, "The tea is really delicious Lee. I don't know why you were saying that stuff before, you rock at this, _Rock-san_."

Lee nodded his head in a so-so yes motion, "...Yes, one of those... I think." he finished unsurely, then blinked again and the smile on his face grew wider still, "And thank you, I've poured all of my sweat, youth and hard work into making this tea!"

"..."

Lee gave Naruto, who was busy trying to erase some certain mental... images out of his head, a thumbs up, his pearly white teeth flashing.

 _BLING_

The flash revived Naruto back to reality.

' _How does he keep doing that? There's no sunlight in here... If I didn't know any better I'd think it was a Genjutsu..._ '

"So... uh, Lee... You look okay... yeah... pretty decent and all... living well I guess..." Naruto mumbled after a moment of silence as he shifted his weight around and fell back into a crossed leg sitting position, taking another sip of his tea. He was a tad bit - incy wincy - awkward in society when he wasn't bothering to keep up a lazy cool image. In his defense, the silver haired sage could have never, not once in a million years expected to meet such an old face as Lee in this world cluster. It has been FIFTEEN THOUSAND YEARS for crying out loud! He knew that time wasn't absolute everywhere but this was ridiculous.

Lee beamed at his old rival, "Why thank you Naruto-kun, so do you. In fact I would claim that your appearance is a shining example of the Springtime of Youth!" A blazing fire ignited inside Lee's eyes as he clenched his fists in front of himself, staring dead ahead into Naruto's amused blue orbs, "I must learn your secrets Youth-sensei! You have clearly surpassed me!"

Naruto, his moment of awkward insecurity now lying broken like an old car on the side of the road somewhere because of those words stared at Lee with blank eyes.

He couldn't help but snort.

The snort turned into a good natured chuckle at the last moment as he held the steaming cup of tea in front of himself, staring at the surface of the tea.

"Trust me Lee, I'm anything but young." he commented wryly to himself and quickly took a sip before cutting his eyes upwards, "This is _really_ good!" he didn't really care for tea, he was more of a sake person, but Lee's tea was truly delicious.

Lee's gigantic eyebrows came together above his temple in confusion at Naruto's odd choice of words as he put down his cup, "I... don't quite think I understand what you mean by that my rival. Care to explain the details?" he asked with a rare look of seriousness on his face, a surprising sight for Naruto who did sigh this time. He had already discerned what he needed to know from their short conversation with those few words - he was trained by the single greatest spy master of his time after all, he'd picked up a few tricks here and there. The fact that he'd been expecting this to be a dead end the moment he stepped into this room, because his luck was just that peachy, only served to irritate him.

He however wasn't ready to give his old friend the response he should, smack right out of the grove unexpectedly. Instead he decided to change the topic of the conversation as he tilted his head to the side in a show of curiosity, "Don't worry about that now, it's a long story that's more boring than watching paint dry. I'm more curious about what you've been doing for this long down here." he waved his hand around the air lamely seeing Lee's face turn blank, "In the Underworld y'know, the place where devils, the supposed embodiments of sin and darkness have lived for ages untold." Naruto knew a bit of background information about every major 'supernatural' and human faction in this dimensional cluster - the urge to use his shadow clones as a massive information gathering network was something he'd grown used in the first few thousand years of living a miserable existance. Though he seriously doubted that devils were darkness incarnate who thrived on sin. It was probably another situation like Kurama being the supposed festering of human hatred made flesh and form to ravage the lands sort of a situation. There was probably something else at work here.

Lee's face quickly took on a far away, melancholy look at the question.

Naruto could almost see the memories play out in his eyes, "I... I can't really tell you, because I'm not sure of how it all happened myself."

"Well that's unhelpful." remarked the silverette dryly.

Lee most likely didn't even hear the remark as he switched his position on the ground, crossing both his legs and arms over in front of him as he held up his chin in thought, "The last thing I can remember before waking up in this world was Gai-sensei landing the killing blow on Madara... then nothing, just a lot of colors and hazy images that I can't make out anymore," he looked down sully to stare at his own tea cup in failure, "I'm sorry that I can't give you the answers you seek Naruto-kun. I'm truly ashamed to have lost my consciousness before the battle was fully over, that was very unyouthful of me..."

The former jinchuriki waved it away with a twitching eyebrow, "Ahhh-hhhh... Don't sweat it Lee. I wasn't expecting to get any answers from you anyhow."

Wow, he sounded like such an ass right now. He honestly couldn't help it though. It wasn't like he was meaning to insult Lee or anything, it's just the way he learned to cope with the shitzone his life has turned to in the last hundred or so years. This situation had just started a new, chaotic whirlwind of questions inside his mind, questions he couldn't answer without consulting a particular little dragon he'd known for nearly as long as he'd been alive.

Still, maybe he should rectify his words... at least a bit. Lee looked quite downtrodden at them.

He sighed, "Look Lee, don't punch yourself over it. There wasn't anything you or anyone else could have done further to end the war so don't worry about that." he scratched the back of his neck idly and looked away, "All of us lost something in that final battle."

"So it was over, right?"

Naruto nearly gurgled at the question, making a huge effort to keep his face straight as he thought of how to answer Lee's question. It was most fortunate that his mind worked at ridiculous speeds even for a jinchuriki because he knew exactly what Lee wanted to hear. The life of a shinobi wasn't measured by how he lived, but rather, how he died and what he did before he died, or at least that was the belief Naruto shared. And Gai-sensei was like a father to Lee, the one he never had, the same as Jiraiya had been to him in the past.

That very same green obsessed man had ultimately sacrificed his life by opening the Hachimon of the Eight Inner Gates, a forbidden taijutsu technique so intense and powerful that it literally tears apart a man from the inside with savage efficiency while burning up all of his lifeforce, in the final hours of the Akatsuki War to save Naruto from being killed by Madara. This had happened after Sasuke had already been slain... before he was brought back to life due to unforeseen circumstances and some meddling sages beyond space and time. The funny thing was, the moment Madara Uchiha was down for the count, thanks to having his entire torso blow into red mist courtesy of one Hachimon powered kick, everything went from really, really bad to impossible levels of nightmare and hell-like pandemonium.

Titanic roots burst out of the ground, tall as any mountain and twice as thick as they wrapped around the world like an odd spider web before they started to hunt down and trap every living being, every man, woman, child and animal. The moon, an artificial construct made by the Sage of Six Paths, began to shine a foreboding red as the spirit of Sage's progenitor was released from Madara's dying body, the full, unparalleled power of the Shinju now guided by a human mind, a calculating, conscious, sapient intelligence that has been waiting for the day it could enact its vengeance upon the world that betrayed it for who knows how long.

 _Uhhhhhh..._

He would really have to bullshit his way out of this one, Lee was obviously proud that his mentor had saved the world they came from if the hope in his eyes was anything to go by.

Humming to hide how much he wanted to wince for even considering his next words, Naruto looked around again and expanded his mind's eye to take a good look around Lee's home - it was an invasion of privacy true, but he never cared about such things. And he quickly came to his conclusion, especially after examining Lee's sub-conscious memory echoes that were derived as a chakra spirit signature... this shit came with empathy and senjutsu okay?

Lee's life as a non-shinobi was content and comfortable here. He had put the troubles of the ninja life behind him.

Since he couldn't use his chakra to try activating a jury-rigged time space technique, he was essentially stuck in this world with no way back. The most logical course of action would be to settle down, and settle down he obviously did.

Naruto could see the small, inconspicuous ring located around his ring finger, though he didn't prod - there was time for that.

He didn't need to know there were such forces out there, such terrible, evil beings that could enslave the entire world with not but a blink.

"That is... exactly what happened Lee, Gai-sensei saved everyone in the end, believe it!" Naruto replied with a pensive smile on his face and a thumbs up, closing his eyes to attempt a foxy grin at the male sitting across him.

He failed utterly.

Lee thankfully failed to notice this as tears of joy and pride immediately began to travel down his face in droves.

Naruto felt disgusted at himself for lying to Lee, but it was for the best, he told himself. There really wasn't any need to burden him with the truth of the matter, to tell him how they failed to save the world and everyone in it at the end, how their world was trapped in a never ending Jikūkan Genjutsu that couldn't be dispelled as long as chakra existed and how their people, their friends, enemies, comrades and families were all turned into mindless White Zetsus by now because Sasuke died when they managed to seal away Kaguya into Naruto, where the Shiki Fuin forged by Death itself would see to absorb her essence into Naruto and finally free the universe of one of its greatest blights.

Naruto's pensive smile widened forcefully as he shut his eyes tighter and hummed.

No, there really wasn't any need to tell him that.

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Clearing his throat, Naruto tried to get Lee to stop crying tears of joy. An annoyed expression crossed his whisker-less face when that didn't work. Not liking it how he was being ignored he clapped his hands together with chakra extra loudly, shocking Lee out of his small heart to tears moment with a small sound boom, making the jumpsuit wearing man jump in his spot.

Cue Cheshire grin.

Lee focused back on Naruto when the Uzumaki began to talk, "Ookay now, since we've established that Gai-sensei was badass, how 'bout we talk about something other than the war?" Naruto asked the taijutsu specialist pointedly while the latter was wiping fresh tears out of his eyes, "Because frankly Lee, I didn't come here to weep for fallen heroes, that's Kakashi's thing. They don't deserve us slighting their sacrifice." he finished as he reached for the iron kettle, looking it over for a second. It was bare iron, simple but fittingly Lee-ish.

Lee's eyes sparkled with fucking rainbows at his words.

He clenched his fist in front of his face with a fist pump, "Yosh! Your wisdom of youthfulness shines bright Naruto-kun! I shall do my best to spread the Springtime of Youth in your words of sageness!"

Naruto's entire body froze hearing that.

A bright red tick mark appeared on his forehead, "Lee..." he began ominously, eyes twitching sporadically.

"Yes Naruto?"

The Sage of Six Paths breathed in deeply to calm himself, putting the tea filled kettle back on the table as he formulated his next remark, "Lee, as nice it is to see you again, know that there will be no more fires and passions and whatnot's of youth in this conversation for the love of all that are Noodles. That's an order. Are we clear?" he stared at his comrade dead in the eyes, using his infamous "Hokage stare" which he'd developed during the course of the Akatsuki war.

"But-" Lee went to protest, aghast that his eternal rival would order such a thing.

"Are we clear?" Naruto stressed as his eyes narrowed with a dangerous glint, promising painful retribution by the way of the prankster should Lee's answer not satisfy him.

An aura of gloom enveloped Lee as he slumped in his spot, shoulders sagging and head hunched over forward.

"H-hai..."

Naruto sighed contently at Lee's compliance - having feared that Lee would skirt around the command since he didn't consider himself a Konoha ninja anymore apparently - and decided to change the topic of the conversation, again. He quickly shifted his position so that he had one knee raised in front of him as he rested an arm over it, "So Lee... I never imagined that you would open up a martial arts club as a real business, how's that working out for you?" he was honestly curious about that. Lee had built a small dojo once back in their hey-days in the Leaf but it was more of an exercise room than anything.

Lee immediately perked up at the new question and straightened his back, the topic being well within his interests, "It's great!" he flashed a grin at Naruto, "There are quite a lot of former human and other beings in the Underworld who are interested in working out to better themselves. We have classes in the late afternoon everyday and everyone's free to join!"

Naruto smiled bemusedly hearing that, it sounded just like something Lee or Gai would do, "Hmm... it sounds like the perfect working environment for you Lee."

"Sure is!"

"And that kid, Sairorg was his name, right? He's an interesting kid, care to fill me in?" Naruto asked, taking another sip of the tea from his cup.

Lee nodded, more than happy to talk about his young student, "Yosh, the springtime of youth burns brightly in-"

"Lee!" Naruto's right eye twitched as he palmed his face. He had honestly forgotten how annoying the green wearing male could be with his talks of youth. He could have sworn the man did it just to annoy him sometimes, but it was Lee, so he dismissed those thoughts in the end and returned to their conversation, "How strong is this kid, I could sense the raw power hidden underneath him when I touched his shoulder."

"He's really good, a hard-working student who pushes himself harder and harder every time he comes here."

"How good?" Naruto insisted.

"He's a kid Naruto, what do you expect?"

Naruto looked at Lee in confusion, it was as if he was being skittish with the topic - well as much as skittish as Lee could ever be anyways.

"Compared to Academy Kids?"

Lee was oddly silent at that.

Before anything else could be said a familiar voice to our hero reached them from the main hall of the Hard Work Dojo, Naruto having been to focused on Lee to notice the life signatures of other people close in on them was surprised at it... and at the familiar chakra signature that was coming from the person, "Lee?! Are you back there? I heard Sairorg say there's someone over you know, kept blabbing stuff about ninja - I though we agreed never to speak of that life." there was a pause as the person put down her shopping bags, "You better not be trying to sell some of those awful jumpsuits again to a pillar member or I swear by the Maou I'll... I'll..." her words died out as she took a turn and stepped through the door frame, gaping like a fish for the next couple of seconds.

"NA- NA- Na... NARUTO?!"

A woman, tall, attractive and mature, with her dark hair done up in trademark twin panda buns that were held together by a long needle and wearing a black Chinese dress with gold eastern dragons depicted in a rising, spiraling pattern, exclaimed in shock. Her dress had a slit on the side.

Naruto smiled his infamous foxy-grin and tilted his head at the newcomer, "Uh, hi Ten-Ten..." he grinned sheepishly at the wide-eyed woman, who was staring at him like he'd just dropped out of nowhere...

Oh that's right.

He did.

"Uhhh... Surprise?"

 **~~~ XXX END CHAPTER XXX ~~~**

 **Author recommends on YouTube corner - AMV:**

 **Tribute to Minato ~ The Phoenix** by **WhiteFang275,  
** **Tribute to Naruto ~ Help Is On The Way** by **WhiteFang275**

If your mom just walked in then doesn't comment on what you're watching, then there's really nothing to explain. But if she walks in, saw what you're watching, DID NOT understand what you're watching and ask what it's all about, you have two choices:

1 - spend a lot of time explaining to her what the show is all about when you know she'll just forget about it the next minute or...  
2 - As the meme goes, switch to porn because it's much easier to explain, and the shock will erase any random memories of a pink M3 Lee.

 **Personal Gaming Experiences:** #1: U-Don't-Play


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